Title: Plateau
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "Three years down the track, at the young age of twenty-five, she felt like she’d been in the exact same situation forever." Lavender gets frustrated with the situation she's in. Complete fluff.
Notes: I started to write this for annemjw's birthday, but that was two months ago or something. Happy Birthday anyway. Complete Zach/Lav fluff - set vaguelly in the Vertick Alley universe, but also vaguely canon compliant.

( The thing about starting up a relationship with your best friend, Lavender Brown decided, was that everything got very serious, very quickly, and then plateau'd. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.
Notes: Decided it was necessary to get the rest out before I get panned by canon in three days time (!!!) so I combined everything into one mega part (five parts for the lj entry of one) and I hope you enjoy. This is the final part, and the part where you truly learn of my terrible prediliction for sap and romance. I don't own Queen's marvelous song 'Don't Stop Me Now'. Thanks for reading and commenting, it means buckets.

( After my far too close encounter with Zacharias, I don’t go running in tears to the first person I can find.  )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.
Notes: So basically I've been overseas and I've been studying and I've been travelling and I've been misusing my laptop so that she goes spastic and starts beeping at me. And now I am finally back on track and have probably lost the few readers I ever had. There are only two parts to go. This chapter may be a bit rushed, mostly because it is. I wanted to get something to you all.

( It’s a big day for me at work today. )

1.

Recipient: chester_w
Title: A Spot of Legal Bother
Crossover Fandom: Boston Legal
Rating: PG
Main Characters: Draco Malfoy, Alan Shore
Summary: "So now he was standing outside Crane, Poole and Schmidt, wondering what the hell he'd got himself into and wanting to kill Ginny Bloody Weasley." Draco takes a bet, and gets into a spot of legal difficulty. Gen.

Follow the Link to the fic

2.

I have been over in Canada for the past five months. I am now home. I apologise for updates of Tart Noir... being rather non-existent. I am onto it now. Promise. And there's only a couple more parts until the end.

Thanks,
Aimee

Title: Entirely His Fault
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Set in the summer following Shades of Lavender, my considerably AU Zacharias/Lavender 'epic', Lavender and Zacharias get stuck in something of a situation.
Notes: For dear annemjw on her Birthday last month. Now for public consumption.

( Lavender Brown knew she had landed on a very special level of hell when she found herself locked in the laundry room, wandless, with one Zacharias Smith. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.
Notes: Okay, turns out life overseas is tiring and doesn't leave a huge amount of time for writing. By the time I add an increase in social life and socialising to study and travel, you get a lot of late nights, writer's block and a very tired Aimee. I've also been working on various original projects during this time, which have to take priority. So I am very very sorry about the delay, am going to get started on the next part quicksmart so that I have something to work from next time I get to writing. I hope you enjoy, I tried to make this meaty. Also, fernwithy is a genius and I can't think of Harry Potter without her backstories anymore, so there's a few elements from her fic that have been used.

( I wake up early to the sound of Lavender’s alarm screeching. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.
Notes: I know, I'm a horrible person who deserves to be fed brussel sprouts, but in my defence it has been a busy six weeks. I worked more than fulltime throughout December, and have now moved over the other side of the world. Better late than never, and now that I'm back at university, I'm sure chapters will come more frequently. This isn't what it should be - I have real trouble with Ron.

( Apparently they’re getting closer to cracking this case. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.
Notes: Since last I updated I became inundated with fulltime work and writer's block. Sorry about that. Hope this begins to make up for it. I think we're making progress here in terms of plot.

( Back to work, back to slogging about the lab, taking samples, pretending that life isn’t utterly shit. )

Title: Arithmetic
Author: aimeesworld
Rating: G
Character(s): Lavender Brown, plus others.
Summary: She thought it was a joke at first. She hadn’t even applied. But then this dumpy woman with a patched hat ended up on their doorstep, calling herself ‘Professor’ Sprout. Lavender Brown has a life-altering decision to make.

( Lavender Brown was not the sort of girl who liked mathematics. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.
Notes: So much for me keeping to the case, I'm afraid. A lot of Zacharias and his shitty relationships in this one. I promise the next will have more hints. Also, I'm aiming to finish this by Christmas as I'm going overseas for six months, plus exams are over, so expect more frequent updates.

( I spent the rest of Christmas with my mother and father, trying to ignore the visions of Lavender Brown dance through my head. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.
Notes: This isn't getting any better any time soon. I'm sorry.

( I wake up early on Christmas and know from the rain hitting my windows that it’s going to be an utterly shit day. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.
Notes: Right, well, two exams down, one to go. And then Nanowrimo. I must be trying to kill myself. I have a plan though now. And this chapter's a bit of light relief comparatively.

( Parvati still hasn’t woken up. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.
Notes: Thank you for the support thus far, everyone. I'm sorry, but it has to get worse before it can get better.

(  It’s terrible and hypocritical of me, after having just told him to get out on no uncertain terms, but I am furious when Zacharias just leaves me there. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13, light R
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.
Notes: This part has been a real effort to write, to be honest. I tried to make it a bit more sexy, don't think I pulled it off. Also, I think Zacharias comes across as more of a bastard than I meant. Anyway, sorry about the huge gap between parts, but expect more of them because I'm running out of pre-written parts and university exams are coming up.

( After work, Ginny and I go out for dinner. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.

( I’m not a violent person, I’m really not, but right now I’d like to kill everyone. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.

( I’ve been babysitting Malfoy for about a week now and he’s starting to get used to it. )

Title: Easy
Rating: PG-13ish
Pairing: Lavender Brown/Zacharias Smith
Warnings: Fluff, PWP
Summary: Zacharias tells her not to let it be too easy for the men in her life. She takes his advice.

( “Weasley finally dumped you then?” )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Warning: language, mild sexual content
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.

( Anywhere but here would be nice right now. )

Title: Tart Noir Around and About Vertick Alley
Rating: PG-13
Warning: language, mild sexual content
Genre: Tart Noir, crime-romance
Pairings: Lavender/Zacharias, Draco/Ron, Susan/Blaise, Zacharias/Ginny ...
Summary: Lavender Brown is part of the investigation into the murders of the children of Death Eaters and is madly in love with her flatmate and best friend, Zacharias Smith. Ron Weasley is babysitting Draco Malfoy and sick of being gay in a terribly straight Wizarding World. Susan Bones doesn't get patronuses and is not having a relationship with Blaise Zabini. Zacharias Smith is sick of his job and thinks he might ask Ginny Weasley to move in with him. Mr Darcy, the flatmate's cat, thinks they're all bloody ridiculous. Four twenty-one year olds suffering with work, love and life.

( You’d think it’d be a dream come true. )

This is a page so that readers can easily link between the chapters without scrolling through this journal for hours.

PART I: Lavender Blue Dilly Dilly (December 11, 2002)
PART II: Right on, Ron (December 13, 2002)
PART III: Oh Susanna don’t you cry for me (December 15, 2002)
PART IV: Zach, Zach, Zachie (December 17, 2002)
PART V: Lav you like I should (19th December, 2002)
PART VI: Curious Ron (20 December, 2002)
PART VII: Susan, you don’t have to wear that dress tonight (21 December, 2002)
PART VIII: Don't tell my heart, my achey Zachy heart (22 December, 2002)
Part IX: Learn a thing or two approaching Lavender (23 December, 2002)
PART X: When there’s nowhere else for Ron (24 December, 2002)
PART XI: Suddenly Susan (25 December, 2002)
PART XII: Zacharias is counting up all his wrongs, one sorry for each star (26 December, 2002)
PART XIII: Lav has taken a hold of me (28 December, 2002)
PART IXV: Dream on Ron (28 December, 2002)
PART XV: Poor old Susan Bones, sounded sad upon the radio (29 December, 2002)
PART XVI: I miss Zacharias once again and I think it's a sin (29 December, 2002)
PART XVII: Coming in full circle (29-31 December, 2002)